I Don’t Know How to be Your Mother

by Chrysula on February 12, 2012 in mothering

My darling girl,

Already we are here. I hold you in my arms as your sobs shake on my chest. I am a good mother. I know I am the right mother for you. But in this moment, I have no idea what I am doing. In this moment, I don’t know how to be your mother. I hold you tightly. I pray silently, “please make it right; please make her sadness go away.”

Your life is filled with blessings, with goodness, with richness. You already know enough about the pains of the world to know your place of privilege, of comfort, of safety. Even in that place, there is the reality of what you feel and experience. It is real. You are entitled to it.

In my mind, I forward to the teen years coming. To nights like this one. More mean girls, even meaner. And boys you care for, who don’t see what you see.

Meanwhile, we are here. I hold you tighter. And I pray.

 

{ 2 comments }

Liz February 12, 2012 at 9:00 am

Sending positive thoughts to both of you. She is in your arms – probably exactly what you both need.

Chrysula February 12, 2012 at 6:29 pm

Thank you. It is always better in the morning when the sun is shining and there’s a glorious clear blue sky.

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