Kindness Begins With Me

by Chrysula on January 4, 2016 in life,mothering,parenting,planning


In the spirit of #keepinitreal, I am often unkind.

I am compassionate. I have a heart for justice and equality. Yet, I can be blunt, judgmental and harsh – especially to those I love most. Perhaps it is part of being human. That doesn’t mean it is acceptable. That doesn’t mean it is who I want to be.

Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible. ~ Dalai Lama


In 2015, my word for the year was stillness. I made some tiny inroads, but nowhere near enough. My life is amazing, but insane. Between work, travel, co-running a home and family, volunteering with church, and community life, it is easy to get overwhelmed. Patience falls ever lower on the list.

I am realizing the path to greater stillness and peace may actually begin with greater kindness: kindness to my Beloved and our children; kindness to our extended families; kindness to my collaborators and friends; kindness to strangers. And kindness to myself.

I grew up in a deeply passionate household. There was fierce love. But there was also just fierceness. We are an argumentative bunch. We like to fight, with lots of screaming and shouting. It’s the Mediterranean ancestry perhaps (ever notice my name is the Greek-est ever?). While it meant we didn’t hold in fractious issues, it makes for an exhausting and combative environment at times – and someone always says something to regret afterwards.

I’ve taken some of that into my own family. When I’m tired and stressed and overwhelmed (and quite frankly that is a lot of the time), I shout and yell. Words come out of my mouth that I instantly regret. I am snappish and impatient and frustrated. I am angry too often, so much more than I want to be. Ever. It’s ridiculous, and immature and it’s not reflective of my higher self.

Kindness Begins With Me

My one word for the new year is not original. It’s not new or fresh. But it’s what I need and what my family needs from me. My word for 2016 is kindness. And as the children’s song so wisely states, that kindness begins with me.


Emily January 6, 2016 at 6:10 am

It’s like you are in my head with these lines ” I have a heart for justice and equality. Yet, I can be blunt, judgmental and harsh – especially to those I love most.”

You would think since we care for justice and equality it would translate into kindness to those we love, but it really is a practice. I’m not sure what my word is exactly yet for 2016 but kindness is definitely something I want to work on, too. Thanks for sharing.

Brenda Winegar January 7, 2016 at 11:48 pm

Thank you Chrysula, I think we all need more Kindness, forgiveness and love. I like the word HOPE for the new Year. I hope that we can all be loving, kind, forgiving and forgetfull of those things that we forgive.

Love you and your family, all of them Under and Upper!

Emily January 7, 2017 at 12:40 am

I love this! I can relate. I am often not who I want to be. I put a lot of stock in direction and desire. Knowing who we want to be and facing that direction is a triumph.

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